My Beautiful Bird
by wildcard23
Summary: The Penguin rescues a drunk girl at the Iceberg Lounge. Is he really as bad as people think he is? Find out in this story.


It was a rainy night in Gotham City. The Iceberg Lounge was packed with people looking for a good time. The lounge's owner, Oswald "The Penguin" Cobblepot, was making sure that things didn't get too hectic. While he was a tad rude, not to mention a master criminal, he needed the money to refurbish the now decrepit Cobblepot Manor.

"Would you lovely ladies care for a drink?" he asked a table full of beautiful women. The Penguin liked to hang out with babes in order to compensate for his rather monstrous appearance.

"No more for me, thank you," said a tall blonde woman.

"I'll have a glass of champagne, please," replied a woman with a light tan and short black hair.

"Excellent choice, my dear." He politely kissed her hand and left to fetch the champagne, making her giggle.

Another woman at the table with brown hair stared at the Penguin. "Doesn't he seem a little creepy to you? The man's a gangster, for crying out loud."

"And what's with that schnozz?" wondered the blonde woman.

"I don't know, there's something about him that I find adorable." The black-haired woman gazed at the Penguin dreamily.

Her two friends stared at her.

"I think we should give him a chance," she replied defensively.

After the black-haired woman received her drink, the Penguin sidled up to her. "So, are you and your friends enjoying yourselves?"

"Oh yes. Thank you, Mr. Cobblepot," she said.

The Penguin smirked. "You can call me Ozzy."

The black-haired woman smiled, staring into the Penguin's eyes. "My name's Chevonne."

"It's very nice to meet you, Chevonne." He leaned in to kiss her hand again.

"What a flirt," said the blonde woman.

"I guess he knows I like the bad boys," replied Chevonne.

"Still, I'd be careful in case he tries to rob you," warned the brunette.

A few minutes later, a loud crash was heard, followed by gasping and screaming.

Oswald quickly turned around. "What's going on?"

Chevonne's two friends were in tears. "It's Chevonne! Her drink's way too strong!"

Oswald looked nervous. "Oh dear. I'm very sorry. Maybe the glass wasn't washed enough from last time." He waddled over to Chevonne. "Here, let me clean that glass up."

Chevonne groaned. There was a large bruise on her forehead from when she fell and smacked into the table.

The Penguin looked sad. "You poor, poor girl." He helped her up, letting her lean against him for support. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Drinks are on me."

Chevonne weakly stumbled alongside the Penguin. He used his thick winter coat to shelter her from the rain (his umbrella had a flamethrower in it). He decided to let her stay at his place for the night.

Chevonne was curled up with Oswald on the couch. The mansion was in need of repairs, but it was warm enough. He didn't want to disturb the poor drunken woman too much.

Oswald placed an ice pack on Chevonne's forehead and rubbed her feet. "You let me know if you start feeling sick, okay?"

Chevonne nodded. She was sore and tired. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because you're a cutie." Chevonne blushed.

"I haven't had a lady in my life in a while, and the Kabuki girls are only interested in fighting these days." He sighed. "It gets lonely here sometimes. Especially since most people find me repulsive."

"Well, I think you're adorable," Chevonne whispered. She was clearly very drunk, and her breathing sounded ragged.

The Penguin gave her a sultry grin. "Why, thank you. My mother always said I was handsome."

Chevonne giggled, reaching up to touch Oswald's plump cheek.

"I'll let you rest. You'll feel better soon." He gently kissed her forehead and draped an arm around her.

Chevonne soon fell asleep, resting her head against Oswald's fat belly like a pillow. Oswald stroked her hair, admiring how pretty she was. He'd let her sleep on the couch with him and then take her home in the morning. He was glad to have such a beautiful woman with him.

Oswald was just about to doze off when he heard a knock on the door. He wondered who would be there so late. Not wanting to move Chevonne off his lap, he simply said "Come in!".

The door opened. There stood the Joker, his wet hair clinging to his smudged eye makeup.

"Hey, Pengy. Just wondering if you had any knives I could borrow. Hee hee..." he giggled crazily.

"Kitchen's down the hall," Oswald replied.

The Joker noticed Chevonne draped across Oswald's enormous stomach. "And who is this lovely woman?"

Oswald draped his chubby yet strong arm around Chevonne protectively. "This is Chevonne. She had too much to drink and needed a place to stay."

The psychotic clown gazed at the sleeping woman. "She's beautiful, Oz."

"Yes. And if you do anything to hurt her, I'll stick my umbrella somewhere painful," Oswald squawked.

"Take it easy. I just want the knife," said the Joker.

Chevonne suddenly awoke, mumbling weakly. She was too drunk and sleepy to understand what was happening.

Oswald stroked her back, trying to calm her. "Shh. It's okay, honey. It's okay."

He passed the knife to the Joker. "Here. And don't disturb my birds on the way out."

The next morning, Chevonne woke up on the couch. She was very hungover and still in her rumpled dress.

"Good morning, sweetheart. I made you some breakfast." Oswald carried a tray over to the couch.

"Thanks," said Chevonne, rubbing her sore head. She took a slow sip of her tea.

Oswald gazed at Chevonne's sickly-looking face. "Are you feeling alright? You look awful."

"Just a bit hungover," she sighed.

"You sit and eat. I'll run a bath for you and find you some clothes to wear." He went upstairs.

After Chevonne washed up, she was wearing an old dress and coat that had belonged to Oswald's deceased mother Esther. Oswald had never gotten around to donating some of her things.

"Beautiful," Oswald smiled when he saw Chevonne. The clothes didn't quite fit her, but it was better than sitting in that dirty party dress.

Chevonne blushed sweetly. "You're awfully cute for a crook."

Oswald laughed. "Glad you think so."

A small red bird flew in and landed on Oswald's flipper.

"This is Ruby, my apapane. I've had her since she was an egg, after her mother abandoned her."

"She's very cute," said Chevonne. She made a kissy face at the bird.

"You're Daddy's little sweetie, aren't you?" Oswald cooed. "Come on, you need to be fed too."

Ruby chirped happily, Chevonne smiling at the pretty little bird.

"You like birdies?" Oswald asked.

"Yes, they're beautiful," Chevonne answered.

"Indeed they are. Birds are my passion." He let Ruby down so she could feed.

"You're a very fascinating man, Oswald," the young lady smiled.

Oswald was intrigued. "Oh?"

"Yes. You're a sharp dresser, handsome, very intelligent, you've got a smooth way with words..." replied Chevonne.

He grinned. The Penguin wasn't used to receiving compliments.

"And I just love that cute tummy!" She reached over to tickle his soft round potbelly.

Oswald giggled. "I'm glad you feel this way, my dear. Are you feeling any better?"

"A little," Chevonne yawned. "I just have a bit of a headache."

The Penguin smiled sweetly. "Well you stay here as long as you need, honey. Anything I can do for you, just ask."

Chevonne gave a sleepy little smirk. Maybe the squawky mobster wasn't so bad after all...

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
